I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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