I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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