I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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