Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out