Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.