my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried