You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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