I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
