beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
