Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
