It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
