how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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