yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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