i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
