Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
