In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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