she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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