No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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