fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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