wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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