he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
