got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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