Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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