College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
