just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
