Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
