I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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