Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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