Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
