We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
