she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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