sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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