Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
