so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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