Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
