Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
