At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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