Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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