well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
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i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
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Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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