I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish i was in the wii world.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
