I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
