He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
