Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
