My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
