It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
