Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
