He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
