she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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