Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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