I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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