her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
