I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
