The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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