there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
