He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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