I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
