I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
