Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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