I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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