Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize