Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just want nice things and good sex
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
