I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
